When Sorry Isn't Enough

Raise your hand if you have never made a mistake.

I didn't think so.

I have interviewed probably a hundred people in the last few years and one of the questions we always ask is what you do when you learn that you fucked up (we don't say it quite like that). When I first came on board I know I was asked the same thing; I can't remember what I said three years later.

Sometimes we do stupid things. Sometimes they are intentional, sometimes they aren't. Sometimes it's a simple thing and you lose your keys and it's just annoying more than anything else.
But sometimes our mistakes hurt people. Intended or not, it doesn't really matter. There are consequences to everything we do.

So what do you do?

Understand that sometimes some hurts are big and they take a while to heal from.
Remember that it's not your timeline that matters.
Take responsibility.
Don't get defensive. (this is a hard one, right?)
Be willing to do what it takes to make it better.
Engage in self reflection: try and understand not just the what and the how, but the why. And be willing to change.

No one is perfect. We are all flawed human beings, every single one of us. Life is a process of growing and changing and sometimes we have to move backward to move forward. I think one of the character traits I admire the most in other people is the ability, and willingness, to change how you see things, including yourself.

xx, Randie

The Art and Ink of Living

I got my first tattoo in 2007. It was in Las Vegas on an anniversary trip with my now ex-husband. I had been wanting one for some time and that seemed like as good of a place as any to do it.

I got two stars on my back, one aqua and one purple, in honor of this thing called mother hood that changed me forever. One for each of my daughters. As I laid there on the table, I channeled my mother/doula self and did some rhythmic breathing to deal with the pain. It actually didn't hurt that badly, but I was so up in my head about it that the nerves were making everything so much worse.  There is this thing called the pain-tension-fear cycle. It was first talked about in relation to childbirth, but I think it applies far more broadly. Basically it states that fear creates tension in the body, and tension creates pain, which makes you more scared. And so it goes.

So I breathed. And it helped.

My second tattoo came in 2010. It was the 5th anniversary of my grandfather's death (on the Jewish calendar). He was the epitome of a survivor. He was in Auchwitz and Bergen Belsen; he lost all of his family, watching most of them perish by murder right in front of his face. I could not go to his funeral as I was 8 months pregnant with Edie. I never mourned his death until that day. I miss him still.

The tattoo has Violet's name in Hebrew,  psalm 133 "hine matov.." which translates into "behold, how good it is for brothers and sisters to sit together in harmony." The last line is Edie's Hebrew name.

That day, and today, as we roll into Passover, I celebrate being Jewish and free. I honor my children. I celebrate motherhood, sisterhood, choice. I mourn the loss of the strongest person I have ever known, and I pray that his power fills me. He was tattooed by the Nazis to persecute him. I choose to tattoo myself in Hebrew on my arm to remind myself of the past and to always remember how precious freedom is. As I sat in that chair with my sister Rachel next to me, I channeled all the loss I had in those 5 years, all those who touched my heart and left me for a more peaceful place. A grandfather. An uncle. A father-in-law. A friend.

The third tattoo I got was last weekend. I had been wanting it for some time and had it planned out in my head. I had no intention at all of getting it that day, but as my husband and I were walking around Saratoga Springs (a fairly vanilla town if there ever was one) we noticed an oddly high number of inked and pierced people. As we got to the end of the main drag we saw a sign for a tattoo convention and decided to check it out. I knew right then and there that there was another one coming my way. I walked around for a good while waiting to see if an artist spoke to me (in the intuitive sense). I settled on this dude from New Jersey who probably weighed less than my eleven year old and was equally as hairless. 

This one was for me. It was to remind me to stay true to myself. To live in the light that I know I have. To keep honest and practice what I preach.

It's also honors my husband and my love for him; he introduced these letters to me and has them on his wrist as well.
It's PMA. Positive Mental Attitude. And a heart, representing love because that is truly what is important in this life.

xx, Randie

To Life, to Life, L’chaim!

This Saturday is the Passover Seder, where every year my family and I get together at my mom’s house and gather around the table to eat, recount the telling of the Jews’ exodus from Egypt and where we take the time to be thankful for the blessings in our lives today. It has always been my favorite holiday. Its many rituals are a perfect example of how every Jewish tradition comes steeped in significance. For every food we eat, there is a reason. The traditions take us beyond the usual pleasures of just getting together with our loved ones for a meal. Ever since I was a kid receiving silver dollar coins for finding the hidden matzah from my Poppy, it’s been a favorite holiday of mine and I can still get quite nostalgic about it.

It is also the holiday where we remember and talk about my grandpa Sol.

My mom’s father, Sol was a Holocaust survivor, the only one out of his family to make it out of the war alive. He lost his mother and father and his sister and two brothers as well as many other extended family members to the Nazis but lived to start a family of his own in Brooklyn, NY. He went on to not only play an immensely important role in all of our lives, but in many others whom he met along the way. To say he was inspiring is to understate it. To say he was kind, generous, loving and full of humor is to put it lightly. He was the greatest man many of us have ever known, his life a huge influence on all of our lives. He spoke and wrote about his childhood as well as his time in the Nazi concentration camps until I think it became too hard for him to rehash those memories. He never really spoke in detail of his family members; I can only imagine how painful it must have been for him to think about them. There is a photo I found a few years ago of his sister, Ruchel before the war when she was about 13 years old and the minute I looked upon her dark eyes, my own filled with tears of immense sorrow. I saw myself in those eyes. I wish I could have known her. So many questions for the person in that photograph, so many lives gone before they could flourish.

One of my grandfather’s greatest gifts to all of us are the stories he wrote about his life that clue us in to the joys and the traumas he experienced before meeting my grandmother in Brighton Beach. He was a great writer and every year we choose another story to read aloud at our Passover seder. And thus we form another bridge between the ancient story of Jewish persecution from the Pharaoh in Egypt, to the enslavement and genocide of the Jews in the Holocaust, to the very personal story of our own family member’s history of loss and survival. It is to not only pay homage to the great man we all love and miss, but to remind us of the ability of the human spirit to overcome such great loss and create beauty and love from unimaginable pain. We in my family are a very emotional bunch, and it is no wonder why. The trauma in our shared histories lives with us today, but we try and remember to live in our blessings and to be thankful for the gifts in our lives, the family we get to share it with and the joys we get to experience.

And to that, I say - L’chaim!

….

As part of our Passover spread, we’re making this roasted carrot dish that I have made a couple of times before and really like. The recipe is from the Meatball Shop in NYC, and it’s the chef’s modern take on Tzimmes, a traditional sweet carrot dish. If anyone need’s a side for the holiday, or just for any other night of the week, I suggest you give it a try!

Honey-Roasted Carrots with  Prunes, Walnuts, and Mint

for the carrots:

8 large carrots Cut into 3 X 1-inch pieces (like thick-cut french fries)

1/4 cup olive oil

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup honey

for the topping

1/4 cup chopped pitted prunes

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/4 cup chopped fresh mint

1/4 cup chopped toasted walnuts

1/2 teaspoon salt

squeeze of fresh lemon juice

- Preheat the oven to 450°F.

Toss the carrots with the olive oil in a large bowl, and coat thoroughly. Add the salt and toss to coat.

Combine the honey and 1/2 cup warm water in a small bowl and stir until thoroughly mixed.

Lay the carrots out on a large rimmed baking sheet or roasting pan so that they are evenly spaced and do not touch one another. Drizzle with the honey mixture and put the carrots in the oven to roast.

Roast until all of the water has evaporated and the carrots are soft and beginning to brown, 35 to 40 minutes.

While the carrots are roasting, prepare the topping. Mix the prunes and olive oil in a small bowl. Work the mixture so that the prunes are thoroughly coated and not sticking together. Add mint, walnuts, salt, and lemon juice and mix thoroughly to combine.

Remove the carrots from the oven and arrange them on a serving dish. Spoon the topping over the carrots and serve.

 

  Solomon Wieder, 1926-2005

xx, Randie

Need a job?

I am hiring!!!
Well, not really hiring, but looking to invite you to work with me.
Yes, work...
If you call trying to eat healthy, fit a little fitness into your day and talk to friends on social media work.

A little over a year ago, my Coach said to me "Randie, you are killing it - you are seeing great results with the fix, you are super positive and I think you could really do well at coaching, since you're basically already doing it."
"HECK NO - I don't need another job, I'll just sign up for the discount membership to get my Shakeology cheaper"
But this little voice said "Ok, you're 40, you don't need a job, but nothing has made you feel this excited, fulfilled and happy in the form of a job since....well, summer camp or college"
No, its not summer camp, but it might as well be - We have fun challenges, meet great people from all over, enrich our lives and connect quickly. We have goals and can't wait to see each other a.s.a.p.
If you have ever thought about health and wellness as a field to work in, consider this.
Just shoot me an email at coachRandieS@gmail.com and we can talk and I can show you how I have turned a passion for wellness into my job.

One that I do when I leave my other job, in between softball practices, the carpool, and dinner. I make it work for me and I can show you what it takes to make it work for you.
PS - I have every single intention to take this business to the very top & I am only getting started. I want folks with me that want in on this because this is really going to be something special!!!

Super Saturday 2016

xx, Randie

Soothing with the hair dryer/Spinach-cilantro pesto

It's Wednesday: and that means guest Blogger Sarah is in the house!

Is there any worse noise than the sound of your baby’s inconsolable tears?

Two hours ago I thought about starting this post with something along the lines of relishing how great the day was, how some days for some reasons unbeknownst to anyone are just happier days when no matter what the weather, the sun seems to be shining right on you.

And then 8 o’clock rolls around and you start to think, was it the garlic I ate that’s making her cry out so? It can’t be, I only ate an hour ago...Ah, she spit up all over me - that must have been it. Nope. And then mom and dad get testier. “Can you PLEASE just take her into the kitchen with the exhaust fan again? You barely bounced with her in there before!” “She just hates me tonight!” “Okay, let me try feeding her again.” Yes, well, you get the idea…

But while I’ve been home with her all day and she’s really been a doll, what I really want right now is to sit here and find solace in writing while my husband tends to the crazy crier. She’s been smiling all the time now, making lots of eye contact and getting a kick out of my changing facial expressions so it’s been really fun to spend time with her at home.

...ahh the hair dryer...baby likes the hair dryer…baby needs to SLEEP.

...So back to the glorious day full of sunshine (metaphorically, as it was raining). June slept 5 hours in a row last night - hurray! Though that was then followed by waking every hour or so until around 7 when we had our morning ritual of mamma and baby nap time when I let June nap on top of me for the next hour and half or so. I’m always plenty tired by this point so I pass out quite easily until she wakes up caked in sweat from her head resting on my chest. Today I knew the forecast predicted rain all day so I wanted to take advantage of some dry morning hours to take a nice walk and pick up some groceries since it’s been pretty miserable out all week. Anyway, we took a walk, baby napped, I picked up a lovely little air plant for the house and all was well and lovely in the world. Naps went well today and I even had time to clean up the apartment and do some weightlifting! (I opted for the former rather than a shower) Mix that with oodles of little baby smiles and coos and like I said, it was one of those glorious days of motherhood.

Which was why once 4 o’clock rolled around, a combination of my good mood, a happy and sleeping baby and a clean home had me thinking about something fun that I could cook for dinner. I had already bought a piece of salmon, so I knew we would be eating that and otherwise I had a couple of potatoes in the house, some baby spinach and a fresh head of cilantro that I picked up today just because a fresh herb seemed like a good thing to have. Nowadays when I want to get creative in the kitchen, my main obstacle is time. No more are the days when I can dream up an Indian stew and measure out 15 different spices or create a meal with 8 different components. It’s really about just coming up with one interesting element that can transform a humdrum meal into something a little more exciting and get the creative juices flowing.

So salmon, spinach, potatoes...I mean I knew we would enjoy those 3 things no matter what the preparation, but what could take them up a notch and give me a nice 20 minute task while June finished her nap?

It wound up being a delicious spinach-cilantro pesto.

The idea occurred to me when I was trying to think of something more interesting to do with spinach other than saute it (even though I still did this too, just for some extra healthy greens on the plate). I blanched and shocked my spinach and cilantro and then blended it with toasted almonds, garlic, olive oil and lemon juice. We ate it over potatoes that were par-boiled and then crisped up in a hot pan once it was dinner time. I saved the rest of it in the freezer and know it would be good with any number of things once the mood strikes next.

Oh goddamn, I think a loud noise woke up the (finally) sleeping June. And nurse, burp, bounce, sleep. Repeat. Good night.

Spinach-Cilantro Pesto

3 oz baby spinach

1 small bunch cilantro

⅓ C toasted slivered almonds

¼ C oil (i used a combination of sunflower + olive)

Juice from ½ lemon

1 clove garlic

Salt and pepper

-blanch spinach & cilantro in boiling water for 10 seconds, shock in ice water, then drain and put in food processor.

-add almonds, garlic to greens and process until finely chopped.

-add lemon juice, oil and salt and pepper to taste

 

xx, Randie

Be The Best Version of YOU

In 2009 I tore the ligaments in my right ankle. I tripped over a dip in the concrete about 1/4 mile into a 5k, and because I am stubborn like no other, I kept going.
I was in a boot for the rest of the summer.
My physical therapist suggested I try yoga as a means of strengthening all the surrounding muscles so I could rebuild the strength in my right side. It worked. I went religiously to this class and six months later I was stronger than ever.
The part I always hated was the mental component. She always talked about releasing your mind and leaving judgement behind. I struggled with that. I could never stop looking at the person next to me. I am competitive by nature. I wanted to get deeper in the pose, hold it longer, appear more graceful-do everything better than the person next to me.
I missed the whole point.
Recently I did yoga again and though clearing my mind is still a challenge, I didn't even notice the people around me. I am no longer in a competition with anyone else. I don't need to be smarter or skinnier or richer than the person next to me.
I just need to be the best version of myself.
Am I a work in progress? Of course! We all are. That's what life is about.
So today, let go of expectations. Say fuck it to what anyone else thinks. Just rock who you are.

xx, Randie

Super Saturday...and Living The BLE

Recently I was asked if I would be willing to share my story at Super Saturday. For those of you outside of the Beachbody world, Super Saturday is a quarterly event where all the local coaches get together, hear what's going on in the corporate world, network, work out together and hear from some local coaches about how they do things. I shared the stage with my dear friend-and personal coach-Jess. She has pretty intense stage fright so we decided she would go first to get it out of the way. I have been speaking in front of groups on and off for 20 years (god that makes me feel old) so it isn't something that makes me feel nervous. The story of how Jess and I met was too good not to share (sorry-no spoilers! You will have to watch the video!) and I was happy to see that people were laughing right away.

As I watched the video after it was all said and done, I was really struck by what people reacted to the most. I said something like "You only have one life, you have to make it the best one possible" and people really appreciated that. It just reminds me how important the work of lifting people up is. There is so much negative bullshit in the world, in the news, in our social universe, we have to be conscious about not participating in it. I choose to live in the light. In the positive. Is it always easy? No! Sometimes it is more of a struggle than others. But I refuse to be dragged down. I choose to keep people around me that add value to my life. That lift me up. That remind me of my WHY.

If you ever wondered about who I am, watch this video. It's 100% me. I curse. I laugh. I love. I am nothing if not totally transparent and committed to BLE...best life ever.

xx, Randie

Salmon, Potatoes, Green Beans and a Baby. Not Necessarily in That Order.

New guest post from my sister, Sarah. Last she was here she was very pregnant. Welcome back!

Who said a new momma can’t cook delicious dinners?

I had this expectation that once I had a baby, I would never cook. I pictured us ordering in a lot, making a lot of frozen salmon burgers and I figured my husband, Mike would be preparing a lot of our weeknight meals.

But, I have found that towards the late afternoon/evening when I can put June down for a nap, or even a series of 15 minute “cat” naps, I can get a lot done and create a nutritious meal for Mike and I. I find it’s all about getting the majority of the work done early, so that way once it’s dinner time I have salmon/chicken/tofu/etc prepped on a pan and ready to just pop in the oven once Mike comes home. In one 15 minute nap I can trim and blanch all of my green beans, put up a pot of quinoa or put together a quick marinade for some chicken, for example. It might sound stressful to some, but for me it allows me to enjoy my time in the kitchen again and feel successful when I can use my time well and create something maybe not as complex as I was cooking pre-baby, but delicious none the less.

Tonight on the menu is baked wild salmon and green beans with an almond-parsley-caper gremolata and roasted dijon potatoes. (Thanks Randie for making me remember those potatoes and for giving me the craving to make them :))

I have my salmon cut in 2 portions on a pan, ready to pop in the oven, my potatoes have been boiled and combined with some garlic, also ready to bake on the same sheet as the salmon. My green beans are blanched and I’ve made my gremolata sauce. The gremolata is the “fanciest” thing I think I’ve made since having June, even though it took me all of 5 minutes to pull together. It felt nice to get a little creative for once though :) And the end result was delicious. I really love sauces like this - salty, acidic, herby with a garlicky punch - in the end I served it atop the green beans but sort of ate it with everything on the plate. Everything probably took me a total of 15-20 minutes to make - plus 12 minutes oven time for the salmon and potatoes. And June was hard to get into a solid nap this evening, so I would go into the kitchen, boil my potatoes, then come out and nurse. Then go chop some garlic and then come out and soothe her back to sleep. It may not be the type of cooking I’m used to, but it’s totally doable! Now eating is another story since it usually falls in her “witching hour,” so I’ve come to realize that it may not be feasible to eat together for a while, but if we take turns at least we can still eat well!

Baked Salmon:

-2 pieces salmon

-olive oil

-salt & pepper

-Put salmon skin side down on a greased sheet pan, season with salt and pepper and bake @ 450 for 12 minutes

Green beans:

-cook for 4 minutes in boiling salted water, cool in ice water bath or drain and run under cold water to stop cooking/preserve green color

Potatoes:

-cut yukon gold potatoes into big chunks - quarters or eighths depending

-boil in salted water until tender (this got done when i had to nurse her and therefore cooked longer than i originally intended until they were VERY cooked, but i actually liked the final result a lot after this)

-drain potatoes and shake around in colander - this creates some nice texture once they’re baked and gives some nice crispy bits on the potato

-combine potatoes with a clove of minced garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper and a squirt of dijon and bake @ 450 for 12 minutes (I did this with the salmon)

Parsley-caper-almond sauce (gremolata):

(I wasn’t measuring things out so this is approximated)

-2 tablespoons blanched and toasted almonds, finely chopped

-1 tsp whole grain mustard

-2 tablespoons chopped parsley

-1 tablespoon chopped capers

-1 small garlic clove, finely crushed with salt to a paste

-2 teaspoons red wine vinegar

-2 teaspoons olive oil

-salt & pepper

And because I am not perfect, I never did get a chance to photograph the food. But Miss June is way more delicious.

xx, Randie

Meal Prep and Life with Baldy

The last few weeks have been crazy. Lots of family visits (good crazy) school events (medium good crazy, work drama (super annoying bad kind of crazy) and everything else in between. I haven't posted any of my cooking adventures in a bit-not because I haven't cooked, but because I always forget to take pictures.

I have made, and been successful with:

quinoa succotash

dijon roasted potatoes

chicken cacciatore

and lots more.

But I have no proof. You will just have to believe me. As far as weekly eats go, I have been on a massive Greek yogurt kick lately. I was mixing it with quinoa but I was finding it too many calories to eat in one sitting (read: I got full) so I have been just having it with blackberries and 1/2 a sliced banana.

This week for lunches I made something so easy and it was filling and yummy. I had a bit of leftover tomato sauce, so I tossed it with a red onion, a bell pepper and a pound of ground turkey (and some spices). I nuked it at work over greens a bit ago and it hit the spot.

The thing is, it sounds cliche but if you don't plan your food for the week you are planning to fail. Sorry but it's true! I am not the only busy person on earth and I know that when I don't plan it's a carb/sodium/fat fiesta for sure.

In other unrelated news: here is really what I was working on: feeling amazing about this little nut:

E is eleven and pretty much the coolest person ever. And not because she's mine. I learned a long time ago they kind of come out who they are. You can guide them, but they is who they is. She is the most confident, self-assured, kind, generous, talented, funny and smart person I know. She has the IDGAF attitude in the best way. She does the right thing because it feels right, not for any sort of bonus.

Yesterday she shaved her head in honor of our friend D, an eight-year-old cancer survivor. She was nervous when she walked in, which is not something I see too often from her. Her teacher came to support her which meant the world to her. (Side note: thank a teacher today. What a grossly underpaid and undervalued job.) She personally raised over $300 for St. Baldrick's which is the second largest contributor to pediatric cancer research after the federal government. It's not too late to donate...just click here!

Here she is before (in the yellow):

And here she is after!

Not too many people would do what she did. I wouldn't. I am genuinely proud to mother her and can't wait to see what the future holds, aside from smelly feet and unmade beds, which she is already kicking ass at.

xx, Randie

Living in the Positive-Final Entry

There is the positive aspect in everything. In every person, in every situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not all that obvious. We have to look. And sometimes we have to look hard.

Many of us just sit back and allowed things to happen by default. If we see negative, we go with that feeling. We don't want to look harder or think too much about the good. We find it much, much easier to sit back and just accept what you see (which is usually the bad).

When I’m faced with a difficult or challenging situation, I try and think to myself, “What is good about this?” No matter how terrible the situation might seem, I always can find something good if I take the time to think about it.

Everything –- good and bad -– is a learning experience. So, at the very least, you can learn from bad experiences. However, there’s usually even more to it than that. If you really take the time to look, you will usually find something good, something really positive, about every person or situation.

Believe in yourself and remember the most important lesson of all: A positive outlook is a choice that you can always make.

xx, Randie

Living a Positive Life: Day 3: Gratitude

This is really important.

Gratitude. Thankfulness. Being aware and present in your blessings.

I have a co-worker. Life has been cruel to her. If I told you all the things she has dealt with your eyes would bug out. But damn if she doesn't come to work everyday in kindness. It's not that she doesn't have sadness, she just chooses every day not to live in it. She lives in what she has, not what she doesn't.

I would like everyone her to make a list of 5 things they are thankful for and share them if you are comfortable. Because being cognizant of what you are thankful for makes dealing with the sadness so much easier.

I will start:

1. I am thankful for my husband. He is so patient with my special brand of crazy and loves me so fiercely it's insane.

2. I am thankful for my children. They are truly two of the kindest people I know and I feel very lucky to be their mom.

3. Being a coach. This unexpected life turn has given my life new meaning and I feel so lucky to get to share in life changes with y'all.

4. Fortitude. The last five years have been unruly but we all survived and continue to do so.

5. Being the big sister. It's so cool to see my younger siblings have babies and grow and be awesome.

You?

xx, Randie

Living a Positive Life: Day 2

I had this memory this morning as I was lying in bed. I was in high school, maybe? I was sitting with my best girlfriend and we were talking about this toxic person that was causing all this drama in our lives. And we ended with this thought: people need to add to your life-not take away from it.

If you want to live a positive life and keep your head in a good mindset, you simply can not keep people around you who don't encourage you to be your best you. It's not that misery loves company...it's that misery loves MISERABLE company. That friend that is holding you back from joy-they are doing it because they want to have an excuse to remain who and where they are. Negative people are energy suckers! So let them go.

It's not just people, either. It's bad habits-for some us us it's food, or booze, or whatever you use to cope with being stuck. Can you try and focus on doing something positive today? Something that adds value to your life-or to someone else's? The old Starbucks pay it forward thing may be cliche-but don't you feel good when you bring someone else a smile? Watching your kids open presents? Holding the door for someone?

Today's assignment is to do something nice. It's not hard, right? Practice kindness today.

xx, Randie

First in a series: Leading a Positive Life

This is the first post in my week long group about leading a more positive, happy life. There is still space and time if you want to join! Just shoot me an email at coachrandies@gmail.com

Good morning.

Thank you so much for trusting me enough to participate in this group. It's my first time doing it and I hope it will be a positive experience for all of us, no pun intended ;)

I want to offer a disclaimer that in no way do I think I am the happiest or the best adjusted person on earth. NOT AT ALL. I am 100% cognizant that I, as are we all, a work in progress.

Every day we will focus on a different part of a plan to train ourselves to be more positive.

Today I would like to suggest to you the following:

Being positive is a choice. For some of you this will be the most challenging step. But I truly believe that regardless of what life throws at you, you are only in charge of one thing: your reaction.

How many of you feel that the world is to blame? Like you could just be happy if you found love/had money/had different parents/etc? Yes, of course situations could be better. But when you think of the truly happy people you know, is it that they have more? When you think of all the people you know that have more-are they happier?

Whatever happens is going to happen-but it's up to you to choose how you are going to feel about it. You are in control of your attitude and no one can take that away from you.

Thoughts?

xx, Randie

Beginnings and Beginnings!

Things I learned/relearned this week:

Love is the most powerful force on earth.

Although I am not a religious person, a new baby is truly a miracle. That something can grow inside you and then in a moment become the love of your life-there is nothing more amazing than that.

There is no greater honor than being able to be present when a baby is born-and when that baby is born to your baby sister-that is truly a blessing.

I always loved my brother-in-law, but to have watched him love and care for my sister in labor was truly amazing. I have been with many, many families through their labors and deliveries, but I have never seen a husband treat his wife like he did. I will always be in awe of him for the man he has become. His father would be very, very proud.

My sister is the strongest woman. She survived and thrived the "Shapiro curse" i.e. the longest most arduous labors in earth. And she shined. Truly. My new niece is one lucky lady.

Welcome to the planet Miss June. I shall love you forever and promise to be the best old aunt there ever was.

xx, Randie

Positive Mental Attitude, Baby!

So, next week I am going to host a free 5-day group. It's a whole new thing and I am hoping you will enjoy and grow with me!

It's a PMA group.

PMA stands for Positive Mental Attitude and it became popular in a Hard Core song by the Bad Brains. I am married to someone who is very involved in that scene-and even has a PMA tattoo! I don't....yet....but it definitely describes how I try and live my life.

I'd like to invite you all for a week of unleashing the power of positive thought. I will post daily and encourage conversation and tips on how to lead a happier life. Comment below if you are interested or email me at coachrandies@gmail.com. And please-invite a friend!

xx, Randie

What a Difference a Year Makes

I turned 41 yesterday. It was a fairly uneventful day as birthdays go. Went to work, got flowers from my husband and co-workers, sushi with the family and then wine and snuggles. I can't quite remember but I am guessing that the logistics of last year were fairly similar.

Except for, well, everything.

This picture is from a surprise 40th birthday party my husband threw me last year.

It was on January 31. The next week I was set to have another party in Albany with my friends to celebrate.

I cancelled it. I lied to all everyone and told them I had the flu. The truth was a saw that picture and I cried. I was able to lie to myself for a long-ass time, but the photo could not. I was so dismayed at how far I had let myself go.

The three years leading up to my 40th were, for lack of a better word, chaotic. I moved to three different states with two small children. Three jobs. I got divorced. And engaged. It was A LOT. And I never stopped to take the time to check in with myself. So I coped however I could; with wine, with food, with lethargy. I stopped working out. I had been an avid runner and had been regularly active from the time I was a teenager. By the time I turned 40, I had gained 50 pounds in three years.

By happenstance a few weeks later, I ended up getting a bikini wax and having a chat with the girl doing it. We got to talking and she ended up sharing some information with me about her own journey. She asked me if I would be interested in joining her fitness accountability group, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Today I have kept off 25 pounds for 8 months. I still have some more to go, but that's okay. I no longer feel icky in my own skin. I feel strong. I feel sexy. And best of all: I have, I think for the first time in my life, a healthy relationship with food. The 21 day fix actually freed me from being a slave to the diet. I allow myself luxurious food and drinks...but I do so in moderation. I no longer think "okay, I ate like shit today, might as well keep at it." If I want something, I decide if it's worth it. And then if I partake, I do it. Guilt free.

This is me at 41. I think I look good. And how you see yourself? That's where the money's at.

xx, Randie

Daily Inspiration (and foul language)!

You heard me. Unfuck yourself. Yes I just did.

How many of us are prisoners to this negative record playing? Can you remember when things were good? When you felt joy? When you knew in your soul that anything and everything is and continues to be possible?

Get back there. Let's come up with a plan to make it happen. You are worth it, so fucking worth it.

xx, Randie

The Best of 2015: Retail Round-Up!

Newsflash: I love to shop. I like personal development and feeling good and rising up, but damn, I like stuff too. As I get older (i.e. almost 41, gasp!) I am more likely to spend more money on less items. I gave away so much clothing this year that was hardly worn. So my mantra for 2016 is less is more...as long as the less is amazing ;)

So here are my top things of 2015. Buy them, don't buy them, I have no stake in it, other than my desire to spread cuteness the world over.

1. Best makeup product. This is easy. I was a Maybelline mascara hold out for many years. In fact, it was the only drug store product I was still using...until I discovered Mac In Extreme Dimension. Lashes on fleek, y'all. Yes I know I am too old to say that, but for real. Check out the lashes at my wedding...and the cute husband, of course!

2. Best Indie Clothing Designer. This lovely lady makes clothes with personal statements about, well, awesomeness. I bought matching shirts for me and the girls (see below) and a cute tshirt early in the year. They are yoga-inspired and soft as all get up. Karma Mob. Get yourself some. And support small women-owned businesses!

3. Best Eye Cream, This Year and Every Year. I am forty and have no wrinkles. And I have spent my entire life in the sun. This may be why, it may not be...but I shall keep using Kiehl's Creamy Under Eye Treatment until I die. Or have wrinkles!

No filter. And no crow's feet!

4. Best Anthropologie Brand That Lets You Look Cute While Wearing Sweats. I have a new found thing for Sundry. They make the absolute softest sweats and t-shirts. And any brand that quotes The Smiths on their clothing is a friend of mine. This T-shirt has become a favorite and holds up in the wash, too. Ignore the bedhead and clearly mismatched skirt!

5. Best Don't Tell Your Husband or Mother How Much it Was Purchase. I have been stalking this moto jacket for a zillion years and finally found it on eBay in my size. MiH. Sexy. Rockin'. I feel like Sandy in the last scene of Grease. And Sarah Jessica looks so dang cute in it. But not as cute as me, right honey?

6. Best Workout Program That Makes You Feel Like You Can Conquer The World. I am on day 18 of Hammer and Chisel and I have never ever loved working out at home so much. Women need to lift weights. You won't get bulky, I promise. But you will feel powerful and sexy and get abs. Seriously. Sore never felt so good!

7. Best Workout Clothes That Make You Sexy, Too. Part of working out is being healthy physically, but it's also about mental health. As you watch your body change, reward yourself with clothes that make you feel beautiful. This brand, Montiel does it for me. And it's another small, women owned company! Girls rule!

8. Best Cheap Technology. This year we got the kids Chrome Books for Hanukkah and they are so cool! For only $150 they can do their homework (yes, it's all online these days) and make videos and do whatever else tweeners do. I got mine on Amazon and so far we have been super happy with the purchases! And look at this face...doesn't she look like she loves it too?

9. Best Dry Shampoo. I do not like to wash my hair. My hair does not like me to wash it. But sometimes my workout regimens or laziness requires hair products to make it go the extra couple of days. I have honestly tried a zillion different dry shampoos and my absolute favorite one is Oribe's Dry Texturizing Spray. It absorbs oil without making your hair feel weird. I use it on days I wash my hair too when I am trying to give it an extra oomph.

10. Best Place to Get Cool Glasses. I have never, ever, been stopped by more strangers than when I got these awesome glasses from Warby Parker. The color of mine is called Bondi Blue which I believe has been discontinued but they have plenty of other cool shit.

So here are my favorite things of 2015. I am now one step closer to fulfilling my life-long dream of becoming the Jewish Oprah. This was an amazing year on so many levels and I can't wait to see what 2016 has in store. Cheers!

xx, Randie

Ten Changes for 2016 that are Guaranteed to Improve Your Life

I know , I know, more new year's resolutions. These are not so much resolutions, though, as they are ideas for living your best possible life next year. Because really, why wouldn't you want to? And why not now?

1. Be kind to yourself. Why is it that we are often so much more generous with others than we are with ourselves? I will so often see people starting exercise programs and get so frustrated at the pace of change. Remember that things take time. Give your self permission to fail-as sometimes failure is what propels us forward. Be proud of yourself! You deserve happiness. Don't wait for someone to give it to you; give it to yourself.

2. Take the time to be present. Get on the floor and play a game with your kids. Read out loud together. Turn off the phone at dinner and listen. Ask your spouse/friend/mother how their day was, and really be interested in the answer. It takes courage to be honest. If someone is brave enough to be vulnerable with you, make sure you honor that with a true listening ear. Be there with people, not just in body, but in mind and heart, too.

3. Make your family the priority. How often do we see things with slogans that say "family first"...but do people really mean it? Family can be blood and it can be adopted or assimilated-but whoever are your people, nurture those relationships. Call your parents. Forgive your siblings. Visit your grandparents if you are lucky enough to have them. You will never be upset at yourself for calling, but you will be upset if you don't. Why invite guilt? Just do it!

4. Let go of expectations. This is huge. Stop waiting for people to be anything other than who they are. I spent years hoping for different reactions from both my parents and it impacted how satisfied I was able to be in the relationships I have with them. You can't control anyone except yourself and how YOU react, so why not allow people to be who they are, too. This doesn't mean we need to be okay with abusive or hurtful behavior. What it means is that you shouldn't have to experience the disappointment over and over again. By accepting your mother/child/spouse/boss as they come, you allow yourself the space to move forward.

5. Make your bed. I didn't learn to do this until I was an adult (i.e. I didn't understand the value, not that I didn't know how!) and I am telling you that life is better when your bed is made. I don't know if it's the lack of chaos in your bedroom or that hot damn, it feels good to get into a clean bed, but it will make your life better. I promise.

6. Cook more. It's healthier and saves money, but it's also a form of connection. Some of my fondest childhood memories are in the kitchen with my mother-and now in my kitchen with my daughters. It is also a cultural connection; making latkes on Hanukkah is not only awesome because they are the BEST.THING.EVER but because it connects me with my ancestors, and all other Jews doing the same thing.

7. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Social media is amazing in many ways, but it's also dangerous to our self-esteem. People present the versions of themselves they want you to see, not the always the truest version. Everyone has struggles. We all feel fat sometimes. We all make mistakes and feel shitty. None of our marriages are perfect. As Morrissey once said; "I am human and I need to be loved. Just like everybody else does." We are all part superhero and part villain. And that is OKAY.

8. Let go of fear. You know what separates the really successful people from the middle of the road-ers? Risk. It's scary to take chances, to live your dreams, to put yourself out there. Fear keeps us stagnant and the real growth happens when you let that fear go. The great changes in life happen when you acknowledge you are scared and then DO IT ANYWAY. Don't wait to live your best life. Change is scary, but you know what? It's so worth it.

9. Stop complaining! Please, I beg you, stop it. Complaining is basically putting the blame on others, and allowing yourself to live in the misery. Now, I am all in favor of a pity party now and again, but after that it's time to put on the big girl panties and DO something. Seriously, complaining doesn't make anything better. It makes you hard to be around. No one likes a negative Nancy (no offense to all the lovely Nancys in the world). Yes, bad things happen. Yes things suck. But things are also amazing. You are blessed beyond measure. Live in that.

10. Be present in your blessings. Gratitude is a life-changer. Making the decision to be thankful for all you have, even when if feels like things are crumbing, is the key to a happy life. It's purely a matter of perspective. Charles Dickens once said “Reflect upon your present blessings -- of which every man has many -- not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” Especially around the holidays, think of all the wonders in your world. And they don't have to be big. Some days I am grateful for everything, other days it's harder and I remember I am thankful for how much things change, for the ability to reflect, for a hug. Beginning and ending your day with gratitude will not change what you have, but it will change how you view things. And perspective is where it's at.

xx, Randie

You Are Entering a Body-Hate Free Zone. Please Procede.

Ground rules: This is a body-shaming free zone. I wouldn't worry about people saying bad things to each other...but I do worry about you saying bad things about yourselves.

Exercise because you love and respect your body, not because you hate it. This is a transformative process not just in our physical selves. You DESERVE to feel good. I truly believe that no good changes come from being in the darkness. Positive breeds itself, and so does negativity.

Can you make a decision to say something loving about yourself today?

xx, Randie